The Grammys: T.I., Go To Jail Already

The Grammys were pretty predictable last night. Robert Plant and Allison Krouse won for Album of the Year, Coldplay won a couple awards (pandered to the critics) and many acts performed. Aside from the obvious industry bias towards shitty music, there were moments during the show. The above video was probably the most exciting performance of the night with the Rap Dream Team taking the stage with a way-too-pregnant M.I.A. Two things: Kanye’s Hair and the rock remix live beat…hotness on the snare. I was also feeling Carrie Underwood’s female lead guitarist who absolutely shredded on “Before He Cheats 2.” She looked totally out of it but she was probably just mezmorized by Carrie’s legs.

Now that I think about it, there wasn’t much else to praise. Whitney Houston slurred her way through the opening award, Bono proved South Park right, Katy Perry showed why she didn’t win Best New Artist and T.I. had trouble keep up with his backing tracks on “Dead and Gone.” Easily the worst part of the night, other than the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna drama, was the Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder disaster. I mean come on, why must we be beaten over the head with the false idea that the Jonas Brothers are musicians who really sing? Stevie Wonder deserves better than this. But aside from the JoBro phenomenon, why must we be forced to hear another forced collaboration on “Superstition.” It is absolutely the most f’d out awards show song in history. First Lenny Kravitz, Alicia Keys, Whitney, every other blow hard on the planet. Sure, the song is great; we established that back in ’79, but it is so unnecessary for Stevie or award show producers to bust out the jam at every opportunity. Get over it. Stevie’s too nice to say no. The guy has a millions songs. Pick a different one.

The two biggest momement of note came form punk favs Blink-182 and Green Day. Yay, Blink is back but it seemed very anticlimactic and the wrong venue to announce the awkward end of their hiatus. I love the band but I’m hesitant to annoint this the second coming on pop punk. We’ll see what happens this summer. Finally, Green Day’s new album will be called 21st Century Breakdown, rule and probably win Album of the Year in 2010. See ya next February.

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Filed under Amateur Analysis, Music

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