2010 in Review: Somewhat Diesel?

This year seemed pretty uneventful for me. Sure, things happened, fun was had, memories were made, but in the big picture 2010 will probably be just another year in a long line of boring passages of time. Rather than wax on about 2010, let’s break down the best and worst of the past 365 days. As always, please feel free to share your lists in the comments section.

Hardest I’ve Laughed All Year: Jackass 3D

Best Restaurant: Corner Grille in Worcester, MA. I dare you to find me a pizza with a thinner crust. Double dare you.

Best Meal: Thanksgiving. Home cooked, family around the table. Good times.

Best Dish: Poutin, Au Pied de Couchon

Worst Trend in Music: Return of club synth dance pop and/or Jersey Shore techno beats.

Song That Makes Me Want To Commit Homicide: “OMG” by Usher and Will.i.Am [a sellout]. Radio played the fuck out of this song all year and it made my ears bleed. A terrible beat only complicates a worse hook, that originally was “Oh My God,” but got changed to “Oh My GOSH” thanks to radio pussies. I’ve never been a Black Eyed Peas fans, but Will has been insufferable in 2010. Honorable Mention: “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train

Song I Wish I Wrote: “Hurricane J” by The Hold Steady

Just Stop Already Award: Taylor Swift’s love songs. We get it. You fall in love fast and hard. I know it’s working for you with that whole million records sold in a week thing, but it’s time to diversify. And I don’t mean another horrible song about Kanye West.

Tech Trend That Makes Me Want to Pull a Chris McCandless: Connectivity. I don’t want to be online friends with everyone from my high school. If news is important, I’ll hear about it eventually. You’re not as cool as you think your online profile looks.

Allowable Organic Snobbery: Honest Tea Honey Green Tea

Overrated Foodie Speak: Eat Local, Cook Global

What If? Sports Moment: Butler beating Duke on a half-court heave. Possibly the greatest shot ever if it falls.

Most Diesel Burger: Brewers Burger at The Tap in Haverhill, MA. A revamped menu and great craft beer. A diesel combination.

Whale Shark Jumping Award: Glee

Best TV Show No One Watched: Terriers. Canceled after its first season, American viewers prove they are not fans of subtlety and good writing.

Best Show Some People Watched That Still Got Canceled: Party Down. And a big F you goes out to Starz on Netflix who pulled the show from the Instant Queue once the cancellation announcement was made.

TV MVP: Joel McHale. The Soup and Community. Two always consistent shows that deliver high on laughs per minute.

Television Lifetime Achievement Award: South Park. Yet another great season that tackled the BP oil spill, Facebook, The Jersey Shore, and medical marijuana. I wasn’t a huge fan of the three-episode Coon arch, but rarely do they miss on an single episode.

Food Revelation: Homemade Pizza. Versatile, quick, and fun to make.

Most Solid Movie: Easy A

Album of the Year: Neon Trees – Habits

Song of the Year: “Baby” by Justin Bieber

Worst Human Alive: Brett Favre

Favorite Train Wreck: LeBron James. Destined to fail. And I think he’s OK with that.

Top Cooking Show: Top Chef Masters. Leave the fake drama to the networks. Shut up and cook.

Stupidest Cooking Show: Next Iron Chef. I’m so happy Ming Tsai did not win. And on the same coin, how could Food Network not have Ming Tsai win?

Breakout Star: Emma Stone

Best City to Visit for a Weekend: Philadelphia

Baseball Stadium: Camden Yards, Baltimore, MD. Cheap, fun, good food. Great atmosphere despite the shitty team.

First Place to Use Your Passport: Montreal, Canada

Video Game That Never Gets Old: Mario Kart Wii

Unstoppable $8 Burrito: Chipotle. Yea, the guacamole is extra, but suck it up!

Supposedly Hard Dish That Is Surprisingly Easy: Risotto

Summer Beer: Blanche de Chambly

Winter Beer: Dos Equis Amber

Most Fun at a Concert: New Found Glory at Boston HOB

Best Live Act: Rustic Overtones

Movie I Wanted to Love, but Thought It Was Just Really Good: Tie – Inception / The Social Network

Good Riddance: Oprah’s Screaming Crowd

Birthday Gift I Openly Turned Down Because It Makes Me Cringe: American Idiot on Broadway

Still Not Completely on Board: Watching Instantly on Netflix

Worth Reading: In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks – Adam Carolla. A New York Times Best Seller from a semi-illiterate author.

Required Daily Listening: The Adam Carolla Show [Podcast]

Worth the Money: Tie – Allagash Tripel / Logic for Mac

Worth the Drive: Tie – Ikea / Yankee Spirits

Most Desired Destination: Alaska. But not Sarah Palin’s Alaska

Fantasy Football Player of the Year: Arian Foster, Texans [not on any of my teams]

Best Arcade: Funspot, Merideth, NH. THE spot for vintage arcade games. Not the place for skee ball. Head to Weirs Beach for that.

Faux Shock and Awe of the Year: Tiger Woods. A famous athlete carrying on secret affairs with high class call girls? Shocking. Tiger’s recent social media PR push? Double bogey. Just come clean, tell us you’re a sex addict and that you love your kids and have found Jesus.

I Still Don’t Find You Funny Award: Daniel Tosh

Movie That Should Have Been Good, But Was Terrible: Date Night. Great cast, terrible script.

Superior Writing and/or Reporting: Matt Taibbi, Rolling Stone

Pointless Hobby: Food Blogging

The One Person You Should Follow on Twitter: Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason). If you’re looking for great one-liners, follow Lisa Lampanelli, but I love Whitlock’s columns, humor, honesty and transparency.

Overreaction of the Year: Four Loko.

Trying Too Hard to Impress Award: iPhone 4, specifically FaceTime and the people who get boners over it. Technology like this sounds great on paper, but the only people who use it are the Apple Geeks who need to justify their obsession. Have you ever Skyped or video chatted? First it’s cool, then it gets real awkward. We call people so we don’t have to see their face.

Best and Worst Hair at the Same Time Award: Tom Brady

Who Cares? Award: Local news. Seriously. I cannot watch local news. It’s pitiful and embarrassing to the profession of journalism.

Asshole of the Year: Mark Zuckerberg. Dude, get over yourself. You’re a genius. You built Facebook. Congrats. But stop fucking changing the site every two months all in the name of connections and improving our social lives. The roughly paraphrased quote that sealed this award for him about The Social Network, ‘I don’t care about a movie that maybe five million people will see. I care about what 500 million people think of me on my site.’

In Memory: Greg Giraldo, Leslie Nielson, American Idol, Andy Irons, Corey Haim, Dennis Hopper, Paul Grey, Robert Schimmel, Captain Phil Harris

Life Defining Moment of 2010: Being roasted by Jeff Ross at the Montreal Comedy Festival

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1 Comment

Filed under Amateur Analysis, Blog, Cultural Criticism

One response to “2010 in Review: Somewhat Diesel?

  1. Happy New Year 2011 The rest of you: just eat.

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