Category Archives: Fantasy Football

I Am So Ready For Some Football

We’re roughly two weeks away from the start of the 2010 NFL season and I’m practically giddy. The kick-off game between New Orleans and Minnesota should be excellent. I’m fully entrenched in preparation for my fantasy drafts and I’m cannot wait to finally have a roster(s) to call my own. The recent news of a proposed 18-game season doesn’t sit well with me, but it doesn’t look like it will be a serious issue until 2012. Will there be a lock-out next season? Can America function without football in 2011? The owners print money with their teams. It’s hard to believe that an agreement can’t be reached. Look for a beginning-of-the-season Power Rankings column from resident NFL expert Mike Schaedler in the next day or two. Now I know I’ve already laid out my basic fantasy football strategy guide. Read it. Win your league. But now I’m taking it a step further. I’m breaking down each team, looking at the possible fantasy value and who I think you should target. Let’s do this. Continue reading

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Chef Diesel’s Fantasy Football Draft Guide

I hated Bill Simmons’ most recent column on how to fix fantasy football. The tone, the excessive pop-culture references, the elitism–I just wasn’t a fan. I’m of the mind that if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. Simmons makes some interesting arguments for auction drafts and a universal scoring systems, but overall the piece felt mailed in and just something he threw together to boost traffic since the next four weeks are the most important weeks of the fantasy calendar. Draft time, baby! And, I WILL TELL YOU MY BORING FANTASY STORY AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

Real talk: I’m back-to-back champion in my ten team work league, and I won a twelve team friend league last year as well. I know some shit, but I know that I’ve been very lucky in the process. You want to be diesel and taunt your friends this fantasy season? Bone up on these tips. Continue reading

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Chef Diesel's Fantasy Football Draft Guide

I hated Bill Simmons’ most recent column on how to fix fantasy football. The tone, the excessive pop-culture references, the elitism–I just wasn’t a fan. I’m of the mind that if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. Simmons makes some interesting arguments for auction drafts and a universal scoring systems, but overall the piece felt mailed in and just something he threw together to boost traffic since the next four weeks are the most important weeks of the fantasy calendar. Draft time, baby! And, I WILL TELL YOU MY BORING FANTASY STORY AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

Real talk: I’m back-to-back champion in my ten team work league, and I won a twelve team friend league last year as well. I know some shit, but I know that I’ve been very lucky in the process. You want to be diesel and taunt your friends this fantasy season? Bone up on these tips. Continue reading

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Fantasy Tuesday

Rejoice! For the first time all year I went 3-0 for the weekend. It was a combination of smart starts, luck and bad games by opponents. At this point, the playoffs are in sight for two teams. More importantly, the nine game losing streak is over. On top of that, the Patriots got demolished by the Saints. Stop for a second and savor the highlights below.

Not pictured, the severe hit on Kevin Faulk from Darren Sharper. It was awesome to see the Saints’ offense firing on all cylinders and they proved they are the most explosive team in the league. More so, the game exposed a weak ass Patriots defense that looked utterly confused. Sure the Pats will still probably win the AFC East but that’s really just delaying the inevitable. Every team in the league saw last night’s game and this morning every coach got the game tape. The best part was how the genius coach pulled his golden boy QB with still five minutes left in the game. It’s one thing to accept defeat but at least go down fighting with some pride.

It was a great weekend overall for football, Thanksgiving and food. Not so much for Tiger Woods. It’s officially December and so begins the end of the year countdown. The month will mostly consist of “Best Of” lists for 2009 and the decade. Yea, ten years gone and we should reflect. To start quickly, the top five things about this past Thanksgiving:

5) New York City: All other cities are pussies compared the Big Apple.
4) Whatever it was Called I Drank On Thanksgiving: Ginger Beer, Absolut and Lime. Solid.
3) UCONN Fans Representing in the Garden: Husky faithful traveled well to NYC and it was not pleasant for Duke fans. Despite the loss, we still made Duke and their fans feel like the pompous assholes they truly are.
2) Good Company: Always give thanks for friends and family!
1) FOOD: Diesel, as always.

And now, I can officially embrace the Christmas spirit.

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Filed under Amateur Analysis, Fantasy Football

Fantasy Tuesday

I love throwback uniforms. Just watch the video above of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and tell me their uniforms didn’t play a part in their upset win of the Packers. Some people whine and complain that throwback uniforms are ugly and just an excuse to sell more merchandise, but they also evoke nostalgia and team pride. There are some teams that should have never changed their uniforms (Patriots, Elway-era Broncos, Seahawks, Buccaneers) and then their are teams that have probably benefited from the face lift (Cardinals, Eagles, Falcons). The NFL may be celebrating the 50th anniversary of the AFL with “legacy games” (sweet Oilers jerseys!), bringing more attention to specific teams’ uniforms, but I don’t think throwbacks are going anywhere. There’s always more cash to be made and dumb die-hard fans willing to shell out the dough. Continue reading

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The League

The League finally premiered last week, and despite extremely high expectations, I think the show delivered. Decent, stereotypical characters, enough realistic football talk and solid jokes made the pilot rather enjoyable. My favorite scene had to be when Paul Scheer’s character offers to give a toast and none of the other guys give it a shit. It was subtle, but extremely effective in developing their relationship. I only worry about the stoner friend; he just seemed a little too obvious. I mean there’s always a guy in the league who doesn’t give a shit and does well anyways, but I hope he’s just not in the show for easy comic relief and pot jokes. It will be interesting to see where the show goes, but as long as they keep the crude humor and fantasy stuff realistic, then I’ll be on board for the whole season.

The Teams
2-1 on the weekend; 1-1 in pay leagues; 6 game losing streak in one pay league; 4th straight week losing after going into Monday night with the lead or a chance to win from behind. 5-3 in one pay league, tied for second; 2-6 in one pay league, tied for last; 4-4 in the lame league that doesn’t play for money. O people willing to trade with me and 0 people worth picking up on the waiver wire. FMFFL. Continue reading

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Fantasy Tuesday

The best overall run of the season so far was delivered by the one and only “All Day” Adrian Peterson this past Sunday. Peterson takes a routine dump down pass and absolutely flatens Steeler’s defensive back William Gay. Aside from being a sick play, the above clips serves as the perfect metaphor for fantasy football players like myself. Some weeks you’re Peterson, whooping ass and winning by a huge margin. Other weeks, you’re William Gay–in position, ready to meet the competition head on, but then get run over by an opponent whose players just go off.

Unfortunately, I’ve been feeling my like Mr. Gay this season. I’m 4-3 and 2-5 in my pay leagues and 3-4 in the queer league. I would have pulled off wins in both pay leagues this week if I started my boy Ochocinco, but alas, who would have predicted a Bengals offensive explosion against the Bears. As for my two readers, it will make you happy that I’ll be attempting to pick up Shonn Greene in a desperate move across the board. It’s really make or break time with only a few weeks left until the playoffs. Luckily, no one has really established themselves as the team to beat, so the opportunity is still there.

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